and in this moment, everything is exactly as it should be.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
The cutest guy in the world (the cat, I mean.)
You’ll be having my head, big as a birthday
Because I left all my doubts on the airplane.
Republicans Are Conducive to Debauchery
My mom and I played a drinking game last night while watching the Republican Debates. The rules consisted of:
- Every time “jobs” is mentioned
- Every time a country is mentioned that isn’t America, Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan
- Every time rich people are referred to as “job creators”
- Every time Michelle Backman misquotes history
- Every time a recent legislation is “Obamatized” (i.e. Obamacare, Obamaplan, or even Obamaeconomy)
- Every time a candidate disputes global warming, evolution, or mentions God
- Every time Ronald Reagen is mentioned
- Every time the statement “take back our country” is stated
- Every time a candidate states that we should “lower taxes”
- Every time a question is asked to which none of the candidates respond
We were drunk within ten minutes.
Other funny things my family has said today
Me: Dad’s talking to himself.
Mom: Yeah, he’s been doing that a lot lately.
Me: Should we be concerned?
Dad: It’s fine as long as you don’t answer yourself.
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Dad: Don’t blame me in later years when you’re a non-conformist.
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Dad: You either drink it out of crystal or you drink it out of the bottle. (in response to wine drinking).
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Kristen: I can’t wait to tell your children stories about you.
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Kristen: I’m thankful for wine.
Mama Riley: At least she’s honest.
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me: want to go to urban outfitters with me?
mom: why don’t you just go with christian?
me: i don’t think he likes urban outfitters.
mom: are you sure he’s gay?
today has been pretty beautiful.
things my dad has said to my mom today:
“You’re funny. Ever considered being on Saturday Night Live?”
“I messed around once and all I got was you.”
“One day you’re going to be fat and you’re going to be really angry about that.”
Happy thanksgiving, folks.
tell me your thoughts and i’ll refer you to the proper channels.
America: home of the free.
I’m going to be posting more of my role model’s mug shots, starting now.
